This past weekend I cleaned our house from top to bottom. I honestly can’t tell you the last time I did this which is super embarrassing, but for real, it’s been way too long. It was one of those cleans that you literally are scrubbing floors and tubs with a toothbrush to get every last piece of grime and dirt off. One of those cleans that even the trim, baseboards, and walls get some much needed scrubbing. One of those cleans that is just therapeutic in a way? Besides thinking of how much my whole body was going to hurt the next day, I thought about my promises to myself during this season of lent. Would I be able to keep those promises or would I fail?
And it got me thinking just how many failures I keep track of in my head. The answer is: way too many. I just couldn’t help but think as I was scrubbing the tub tiles with all my might, of just how God scrubs our sins away and allows us to start fresh day after day, sin after sin, time after time again. How lucky are we that we get so many chances to try to get it right even though God knows full well that we will sin again. God never considers me a failure, so why do I think it’s ok to equate my worth with how many things I fail at? As women and mothers especially, we can’t equate our worth with our “failures” or we will never win. More often than not I am constantly in my head counting the tasks I didn’t get done for the day, or the amount of time my kids watched movies instead of playing a game, or beating myself up about the way I handled disciplining one of the kids, just reminding myself of all the things that I failed at throughout the day.
We need to remember that even if we feel like we got nothing accomplished during the day that we are accomplishing the most important task of our lives: raising our children, and raising them well. Whether we have a day where we let them sit in front of the t.v. for way too long because we just need a break, or one of those days where we are doing projects and reading stories all day long, we are doing something great. Our children will never remember all the failures of each day that we keep track of, they will only remember the moments we spent with them and the memories we make with them. My wish for myself and for all moms, is that we stop measuring our success by our failures and we start patting ourselves on the back a lot more often. Our job is extremely hard but at the end of the day if we send our worries and failures to Him, he will let us start anew. Let the grime build up for a while, you will get around to it sometime. In the meantime, tickle those toes, build forts, and kiss those pudgy cheeks before they are gone.
As my body will be paying for this deep clean for a few days (thank goodness I have a chiro apts all week!), the rejuvenation that my soul received in the process is worth the pain and then some. God knew I needed to slow down and come back to him amongst all the chaos in my life right now, so he gave me this day to clean and reflect. After all, isn’t that what lent is all about? Therefore I also blame God for letting my house get as dirty as it was because it was all for His cause. It’s ok, I forgive you. Also I love you dearly.